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Kakamega Deputy Governor Ayub Savula has assured Kenyans that the self-proclaimed Jesus of Tongaren is safe from crucifixion.
Eliud Wekesa, the self-proclaimed christ from Kakamega, fared way better than Jesus Christ of Nazareth, as he was granted government security, unlike Jesus who was arrested after one of disciples, Judas of Iscariot, betrayed him and he was sentenced to death over fictitious charges.
Lucky for Yesu wa Tongaren, he does not have a Judas within his ranks to sell him out for 30 shillings, and Pontius Pilate is not the governor of his county.
“Yesu wa Tongaren is safe,” Savula said in a tweet. “Security is tight. Malicious people wanted to crucify him this Easter.”
It’s unclear who the malicious people who wanted to crucify but Kenyans are take advantage of the moment to poke fun at the Yesu wa Tongaren.
But we suspect Kipkorir Bilal could be one of them judging from his tweet showing an image of a man preparing a cross and a crown of thorns next to a photo of the Son of God from Tongaren.
“Everything is set. Waiting for tomorrow at 3pm,” Bilal jokingly tweeted punctuating his tweet with laughing emojis.
“Yesu wa Tongaren is safe. Security is tight. Malicious people wanted to crucify him this Easter” – Kakamega County Deputy Gov. Ayub Savula.
Everything is set ????. Waiting for tomorrow at 3pm ???????????????? pic.twitter.com/0qLfesXJiJ
— KIPKORIR BILAL ???????? (@KipkorirBilal) April 6, 2023
“If he’s Jesus, he will definitely rise again. Where’s the fear? Tess On Twitter.
“Let’s go for him. Hope the two thieves are ready,” Benson Akinyi piled on the joke, tweeting a response to Bilal and Savula.
Some Kenyans noted the hypocrisy of Yesu wa Tongaren seeking protection.
“He can’t be Jesus during good times and not Jesus during trial times,” Jack Jacks tweeted.
During the good times, the Jesus of Tongaren said he got his divine promotion when he was 10 years and he spoke about having visions of many prophets including Jacob, Ruth and many others.
“Are these not the askaris who arrested Jesus and later crucified him last time?” Okanga Bernard tweeted.
Well, to answer Okanga’s question, these are not the askaris who arrested Jesus back in the day, but Jesus of Tongaren better secure a place for them in heaven because they’re the only ones standing between him and the cross.
But Tess assured the Jesus of Tongaren not to be afraid.
“If he’s Jesus, he will definitely rise again. Where’s the fear?” Tess tweeted.
Tess is right, in the Book of Matthew, The Bible says Jesus rose from the dead on the third day.
The Last Supper
Keeping up with the jokes, a recent photo of Yesu Wa Tongaren having dinner with his wife created a buzz on social media with some calling the moment “The Last Supper.”
In a YouTube interview with the Great TV 254, Kenyans interviewed expressed mixed views of the self-proclaimed Christ. Some said he’s a fake, while other seemed to believe he’s Jesus and he ought to be crucified to end the suffering Kenyans are currently enduring.
When pinned down and asked whether he’d submit himself to be crucified, he demurred.
“Mimi naenda na maandiko, lakini sijaona kwa maandiko imesema ya kuwa itatendeka mara mbili,” Yesu of Tongaren said. (Translation: I’m going by the writings in the Bible, and nowhere does it say that Jesus would be crucified a second time).
Well, there you have it, Yesu Wa Tongaren, will not avail himself to be crucified to wash away Kenyans’ sins.
While this might seem as a joke, there’s a real possibility he could be targeted and harmed by people perceiving his self-proclamation to be blasphemous.
See the video interview with Yesu Wa Tongaren below.
